Shocked.Numb.Sad. Nothing else seem to matter. - dextermania - ::welcome.to.the.world.of.dextermania::

Lena. cousin. friend. its so hard to come to terms with this news. we kept talking abt meeting up. us smartlabians. but always someone couldnt make it. we thot we could do it once you came back. now.. there'll never be that chance again. me n u were one of the first students of hazel. we all were the first batch of smartlabians. the name we call ourselves. from sec sch o levels to jc a levels. hours spent there learning, studying, laughing, joking. those days were fun. carefree.

do you remember the brinjal pencil case you got? remember how samuel went to buy the banana version just coz it looked fun to do so? how we all laughed at him for actually using that pencil case. and you kept saying that only the coolest used them..

i stare at ur msn nick. i think about the last time we talked online. that was before you left for alaska. i stare at it now. wondering when i'll get to talk to you again. i still can't believe youll never come online again. no window will ever pop up with your nick there.

when i first heard the news.. part of me was hoping there was a mistake. i hoped that somehow.. you were still alright. that it took so long for me to accept doesnt help anything.

it is so ironic. that ur last msn nick was "0 days to alaska! I love you all and I'm gonna miss you all". something along those lines.. i never thought that would be your last message to us cousin. its so ironic!

"hey cousin". that was the way we addressed each other recently. now therell be noone for me to call out in this way. ill never receive another sms or msn msg which starts with that.. i knw ill definitely miss that cousin.

it's all been so sudden. i can scarcely believe its true.. even now... i busied myself today. calling up derlyn in alaska. finding out what happened coz i think im the only link since noone could reach her.. (thanks janet for the number. that was my ONLY way to contact them in the end..) den i made sure i could pass what i knw to your family. it was only these that prevented me from sitting and staring into space. nothing seems to matter any more.. everything seems so trivial..

i'm missing you already. i really didnt miss you until you were gone. how true that old saying is.

i still can't believe you're gone cousin... still can't...

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Tue 7-Nov-2006 01:04
Posted by:unnamed

i knw who's is it.. but it doesnt say a thing. wat was it exactly that you wanted me to read? btw. do tell if u knw the password to her alaskan blog. thanks.

Wed 8-Nov-2006 08:36
Posted by:dxtr

Hopefully you'll read all entries that she has written since day one she set up the blog, especially in the past. Came across to me that she has very bad attitude problems in regards to other people and their lives. Irresponsible and full of vulgarities. Sorry I can't access her alaskan blog now although I have done so before she closed it soon after the bad incident. Basically, she's got no licence and shouldn't have even thought of driving at all. I tell myself it's no use bringing up the sad past as Lena's gone. Just hope she learns her lesson (which I seriously doubt so from what she wrote in the Alaskan blog after the incident). Any apology from her to Lena's parents? We hope she has done so. Otherwise, it'll show she doesn't think she has done any wrong at all. Oh dear... I shall stop now. Not good to carry on... Thank you and I hope you and your family will continue to be strong.

Thu 14-Dec-2006 04:04
Posted by:unnamed